The Hulk (2003) Review

  “You know what scares me the most ? When it happens, when it comes over me... and I totally lose control, I like it.”
    Many people remembered Ang Lee for `Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon’, which countless people believe it to be the finest martial arts film ever created. It left such big shoes to fill, even for Lee. He was even dubbed `America’s best director’. Ang Lee always loved presenting humanity and human imperfection in his stories as he has done many times before. Almost every film he has done was poetic in every way shape or form. Three years after `Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon’ and two years before `Brokeback Mountain’ he made a film people would very soon forget, it was none other than the Hulk.
   I was excited when I heard that there was going to be a Hulk film, seeing how I was a hardcore fan of the Billy Bixby/Lou Ferrigno television show `The Incredible Hulk’. I was even more pumped when I heard Ang Lee was going to direct it because he is a phenomenal director. When I saw the film I was highly disappointed. This could have been an incredible film. Ang Lee really let me down.
  The film starts out extremely slow! The opening sequence was the beginning of the back-story, which continued for half of the film. The back-story should not go further than the opening credits. Lee directs to devote too much time in the back-story, which isn’t even needed. I was sitting in my seat questioning when the film was actually going to start. The first actual Bruce Banner to Hulk transformation was about fifty-five minutes into the film. By the time the Hulk finally appears, the audience was bored. This is a two hour and twenty minute film and only about twenty minutes of the whole film was action. For a film simply titled ‘Hulk’ there is just a little bit of the hulk in the film. Ang Lee might be a gifted visionary of film, but surely not with this film. `Hulk’ is just so dreadful. The acting, the music, the directing, the cinematography, the plot, and just everything were so awful in this film. Hulk has too much talking and not enough of smashing. The film can possibly cure insomnia If you want to see a great Ang Lee film, watch `Lust, Caution’ or Life of Pi.

1 out of 5

Ghost Rider DOUBLE REVIEW

 “ The thing about legends is... sometimes, they're true.”

   Ghost Rider is hilarious! The most I’ve laughed in ages, horrendously and uncontrollably funny, which is tremendously appalling seeing how it’s unplanned humor.  Ghost Rider has laughable yet appalling performances, horrifying plot, god-awful action sequences, terrible dialogue, and even more appalling performances.  If you enjoy films that are so appalling that they make you laugh, Ghost Rider shall surely deliver.
    Nicolas Cage has really never truly been a talented actor, there has only been one great film he was in and that was “Raising Arizona”. He was not fit for the Ghost Rider at all. He was so stiff it’s no surprise his head burst into flames. He acted as if he was a miserable guy on drugs throughout the film. I do believe Cage was and still is tormented by the curse of the Oscar through appearing only in terrible films continuously. Now to the co-stars! Eva Mendes cannot act and neither can her breasts. She wasn’t even pleasing on the eyes for the reason that she looked as if she required a bath all the way through the film. You can’t feel the love connection between her and Cage. The villains were feeble and both badly cast. Peter Fonda was not frightening; he does not present a real fight or even a dilemma.  Fonda’s “nice bike” line fell flat with the audience for Ghost Rider seeing how almost certainly none of them have ever seen his cult classic “Easy Rider”. Wes Bentley has the looks of Satan’s son, but not the ability to act. He was a very weak actor for the role.
  Then there is the story… there isn’t one. We get some useless excuse of a story. Trust me even “Batman and Robin” had a much better story and screenplay.  This film does nothing for the audience.
   The ending makes you flinch and want to lash out at the screen. In the end, the Ghost Rider killed Satan’s son by giving him many souls and then stares at him deep in the eyes, BOOM HE’S DEAD and that was the end to the Ghost Rider films; oh no wait there is a sequel!!
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
   This sequel makes the first Ghost Rider film look like “Titanic”. Completely everything about this film was dreadful. Awful from all perspectives; story was unintelligible, the characters were terrible, the action was blurred and confusing, the special effects caused many viewers to get headaches, the costumes and props were below par, the cinematography was rubbish, and everything else I didn’t mention was disappointingly made.
  They changed the personality of the Ghost Rider. Instead of the chill and strong-minded character, they made him more mentally ill than the Joker! He was psychotic, aggressively brutal, and looked like he was pumped up on drugs throughout this terrible sequel. Peter Fonda didn’t come back; as an alternative we get some plump older guy representing the devil. Why not just get rid of Cage all together and let Christopher Nolan reboot Ghost Rider like he did for Batman?
    Halfway through the film I got up and asked for my money back, which hardly ever happens. Then I decided to see “The Secret World of Arrietty” again.
    Watching many hours of Cage’s facial tics does not make a movie franchise. The Ghost Rider films make it right up there with other terrible Marvel superhero films such as the Fantastic Four films, Daredevil, The Punisher, and the Hulk. This film won’t change your life at all, but you’ll walk out the cinema smiling knowing that you were cheated out of your money.

Ghost Rider- 0 out of 5

Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance- 0 out of 5

The Punisher (2004) Review

“Upset? Is that the word? I used to get upset. When I got a flat tire, when a plane was delayed. I used to get upset when the Yankees won the series. So if that's what upset means, what am I feeling now? If you know the word, tell me because I don't.”
   Frank Castle AKA the Punisher is one of the better Marvel comic book heroes. He is anti-heroic, dark, violent, and a vigilante. Most Marvel heroes, like Spiderman, Iron Man, Ghost Rider, and Captain America, all have special powers or gifts to fight crime. The Punisher’s fighting method is straightforward… guns and knives! Nothing extraordinary or incredible, he is just a gun-toting vigilante.  With every comic book character there is soon to be a movie update. And what do we get with the film “The Punisher”? Well we get a pathetic worthless film that is an insult to the Punisher. How could they mess this film up? Just a straight up action film and somehow Hollywood messed it up. I remember my friend saying that the punisher makes Batman and Robin look like Titanic.
    “The Punisher” had millions of flaws, but let’s begin with the dialog. The dialog was weak and extremely unimaginative. The back-story was changed. The comic back-story was perfectly believable. So since the back-story was changed, they had to change the reason why his family gets killed. The villains in the film appear at Castle’s family reunion and they slaughter everybody BUT the guy they came to execute in the first place.  Also “The Punisher” is based in New York, not Florida. New York is tremendous since its dark, rough, and full of crime. Florida is hot and sunny, but it is full of crazy people. Florida was a ludicrous option since the last time I checked Tampa was not the source of criminal activity.  Yeah the delivery was quite pathetic.
    So the dialog was badly written and badly delivered. The acting should be better, right? Wrong! The characters were all so wooden.  The villains were somewhat amusing though, seeing how they all look over the age of sixty. The Russian, he’s humongous, muscular, and he looks like a cartoon character in his bright red and white lined shirt… so basically Popeye the sailor man. Next there’s the singing hitman from Memphis. Come on, he can’t even sing! Lastly there’s Travolta’s character, which cannot be taken seriously as the villain because he’s so over the top.
    The Punisher is one of the worst adaptations based on a comic book, after Daredevil and fantastic four of course.  It was all-wrong.  For those people who liked this film, they don’t know the character well. It’s like Captain America without his shield.  The Punisher should be serious, not funny or depressed over family drama. He doesn’t influence the bad guys into killing themselves. He’s a killer. He’s never into head games merely in pulling the trigger to his gun.
   There are very few films I completely hated in my life. Daredevil, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Twilight, Timeline, 8MM, Batman and Robin, to name a few, and this film is right along with them. The Dolph Lundgren film was even more superior to this garbage. If I sought after to see a film about a tormented soul looking for something and tender agonizing moments, I’d have gone to see a psychologist.  I was trying to watch a film about the Punisher. This should have been the easiest Marvel film to create; yet it ended up being one of the worst ones. How is that possible?!  Please, do yourself a kindness and don’t even bother.

0 out of 5

Daredevil (2003) short sweet Review

“Violence doesn't discriminate. It hits all of us... the rich, the poor, the healthy, the sick. It comes as cold and bracing as a winter breeze off the Hudson. Until it sinks into your bones... leaving you with a chill you can't shake. They say there's not rest for the wicked. But what about the good? The battle of Good vs. Evil is never-ending... because evil always survives... with the help of evil men. As for Daredevil, well... soon the world will know the truth. That this is a city born of heroes, that one man CAN make a difference.”
    As a kid I read a lot of DC comics, but when I dived into Marvel there were only a few of their heroes I liked, such as: Daredevil, Punisher, and Captain America to name a few. So I was thrilled when I heard there was going to be Daredevil film coming out. Oh how I was not prepared for the big disappointment that followed. When those credits rolled I was quite full of anger because Daredevil lacked character, was dull and stiff, and wasn’t likable at all like he is in the comics. I blame Ben Affleck’s terribly pathetic acting skills.  It felt like he was simply reading off his cue cards word for word. All the other actors were the same way.
   Seemed like everyone involved with the film wanted it to fail. The directing was terrible along with that script. Then they decided to repeatedly copy “The Matrix” with the slow motion. It became bothersome after the first minute of it. Not to mention it all looked fake with that CGI they were using. So throughout this whole film I was sitting in my seat wanting it to be over. I was hoping that all the characters got into one big fight and killed each other. The film had so much potential and Hollywood once again screwed it up.
Theatrical Cut 1.1 out of 10

Directors Cut 1.3 out of 10

MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO (1988) Review

    On a dreary night at home I begin to scan through my overly large dvd collection, trying to figure out what to watch. Suddenly, I stop and begin to grin as I pull out “My Neighbor Totoro” from my animated section.  This is pretty usual for me.

    Two sisters, Satsuki and Mei, move into an aged house in the Japanese countryside with their loving father because it’s close to the hospital where their mother is sick. They are not the only ones in the house though. Small, fluffy, black balls of soot disperse each and every corner of the walls; they only run away from laughter. Finally, the Totoros themselves, enormously lovable small creatures (they’re a hybrid between a raccoon, rabit, owl, guinea pig, and cat) carrying acorns and making tress grow at night. There is even a gigantic Totoro who sleeps beneath a tree, so cuddlesome and calm, who also grins like a Cheshire cat. The gigantic Totoro always lends a hand to others in trouble.

    “My Neighbor Totoro” is pure delight and amusement; from the score to the animation, from the adored Totoro to the Necko-Bus, this film excels and fascinates. The imaginative pictures make the film seem like a beautiful vision. There are so many magnificent scenes and nearly everyone will lawfully point to the brilliant bus stop scene as the centerpiece scene, and with no hesitation it’s my favorite scene in the film too, and so many additional comparable scenes where only a few words are spoken. Disney animated films are frequently too impatient to produce an atmosphere like this. The settings, background, noises, and sounds are extraordinary. The voice actors did marvelous job.

    Is this a kid’s film? Well yes, of course it is. Is this a film for adults? Well yes, because it brings out our inner child. “My Neighbor Totoro” is special because it lets the viewer be free to be a child again and it helps reflect the world through a point of view that they possibly have forgotten.  It shows us that we live in a magical place and it’s positively worth captivating the time to be thankful for this. We may not have a neighbor like Totoro, but we are all lucky in other ways. Each of us has something to love, something that transports joy and reassurance.

  “My Neighbor Totoro” is not tied up by any of the established systems of storytelling. Instead, it presents incidences that feel on a essential human level that is so deep and philosophical that it will have you feeling a variety of emotions. There are so many numerous levels to this film, each one significant and extraordinary.  It captures the childhood innocence that we all lose to soon nowadays. The humor in this film makes kids laugh and also the adults will laugh in addition to appreciating it, without it being “adult humor”.  This film is a true classic of animation better than any other Disney or animated film ever created,  like The Iron Giant, Toy Story, Akira, Howl’s Moving Castle, Beauty and the Beast, yet “My Neighbor Totoro” will always remain my favorite.  It’s sacred, magical, authentic, unique, simple, lighthearted, poetic, emotional, and humorous. “My Neighbor Totoro” will appeal like few animated films can. What more can be said about this great film? Get this film without delay, you won’t be sorry.

10 out of 10 

The English Patient (1996) Review

“Every night I cut out my heart. But in the morning it was full again.”

     I saw the English Patient about nine times when it was first released in the cinemas. It was the most mesmerizing cinematic experiences I ever had and it left a stain inside me. I was tormented with the pain and anguish Ralph Fiennes character went through. Years later, I finally watched it again. I fell in love with the English Patient even more. It touched me so deeply that I considered it the best film ever made for a long while because I learned to respect it even more since I could relate. We all had a love that is by no means forgotten and its distributed intimacy only a dream. The English Patient shares such ideals of the risks we are prepared to take. The jeopardy to dream and to live such a dream.

    Every actor provided a subtle performance filled with depth and history. The audience feels their emotions, whether it be an adoring lust or excruciating suffering. The best thing in the film was Ralph Fiennes delicate performance in this masterpiece of a film. He plays Almasy, a man who falls in love gradually but ever so intensely with Katherine. As he opens his heart he leaps into this forbidden affair. The most touching tear-jerking scene for me will forever be when Almasy carries his hurt love and he noticed a thimble he bought her around her neck. He points it out in which she responds, “I’ve always worn it, I’ve always loved you” and right after she tells him this he begins to cry with such a pain flowing from inside his inner being. Of course the music really helped with this scene’s emotional journey. The English Patient is one of the most striking and heartbreaking romances ever to be written and put on film. It beyond a doubt will disturb and captivate you long after it’s over.

    This is one of the better films made within the past twenty years. So I don’t comprehend why several people are so against this film. Immediately people point out that it was way too long, but what they don’t realize that there were a number of fantastic films that were “way too long”. Such films include The Godfather, Saving Private Ryan, Schindler’s List, etc. The original cut of the film was four hours and ten minutes, so the edited version was two hours and forty-five minutes is not horrific. The audience wouldn't have received an impact if it were only ninety minutes.

     It’s a broad epic much similar to Titanic’s approach, but The English Patient is much more established and touching. It has a certain type of cinematic poetry much like Cinema Paradiso, that I hardly ever see enough of in films today. This film should be a part of any cinema lover’s film collection. It’s pacing may be slow, yet it’s satisfying, the viewer finds themselves folded up in it and by the end they can’t look away. It’s a modern day Casablanca. Not to be missed! 

4.7 out of 5

The Adventures of Tintin (2011) review

      I have been a Tintin fan ever since I first saw the cartoon when I was a small child. Years passed and I discovered the comics along with finding the complete animated series (which was bootlegged). I read the Tintin comics innumerable times, so I’d call myself a fan of Tintin. When I first saw the trailer to the film, by god I was thrilled. After reading some good reviews on the film, I decided to go see it in IMAX 3D with some friends, I thought it would be at least okay… I was dead wrong. I watched it… *sigh* it was god awful. A very poorly made film indeed. It’s a film for insomniacs because if you have difficulty falling asleep, this film would lend a hand. Actually half the people were asleep in the cinema. I tried to watch it, I very much wanted to like it, and my friends wanted to like it too but they were uninterested. For it is boring, irritating, motionless, and just plain annoying much like Tintin himself in the film.

  The film is a total disaster. Come on Hollywood! It’s the 21st century and you guys are still passing garbage like this as a movie? What happened to the good animated films like The Iron Giant and My Neighbor Totoro (which I will do reviews on soon)?!

   There are many things that made this film rubbish. 1) The story is empty, so imagine it’s a Michael Bay film. 2) The characters! This is where I hated the film the most. The villain Sakharine was never a villain in the series, simply an art collector. 3) The editing! The development of the story was ruined with rushed pace and all the action scenes. 4) The visuals aren’t spectacular; Polar Express was much better visual wise. 5) Sadly the music had nothing special to it. It was so sad to see, one of the greatest composers of our time, John Williams doing something that felt like he didn’t care.

   Spielberg and Jackson’s luck ran out with this so called film. I wanted to imagine that all of it was just a bad dream gone wrong so it doesn’t ruin the comics and classic animated series for me. For most Tintin fans, this will be a major disappointment. This film brought back terrifying memories of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It just made no sense; Spielberg blew it up big time. Spielberg, Jackson, and everyone involved should be embarrassed of themselves. To take such a masterpiece and turn into this typical Hollywood form of nothing. It’s a shameless massacre of my childhood memories. 

2 out of 5

Cinema Paradiso (1988) Review

“Life isn't like in the movies. Life... is much harder.”

     Cinema Paradiso is one of those rare films that I relate to on such a personal level. There are few films that have such a power over me. I have never been so emotionally affected like I am with this film. That final scene truly tears my soul apart and my eyes become instant waterfalls. When people ask me what the film is about I simply say, “it’s about a man who must choose between two things. The girl he loves or his love of film”, but it’s so much more than that. Cinema Paradiso is about friendship, how the cinema can affect us, and our first true relationships that are filled with passion. 

   The story centers on Salvatore who is a young boy that matures slowly as he discovers lessons about life, develops a hunger for cinema, falls in love with a girl during his teen years, and later in life is rewarded with being a famous filmmaker; yet, he stays unsatisfied without true love only to receive a gift of love that surpasses death, space, and time to be discovered in the final scene. Don’t get me started on the music, my god this film has the best score. It puts most films to shame. Cinema Paradiso can cause you to laugh or cry. It portrays those innocently pure emotions and feelings such as: love, fear, sorrow, remorse, the longing of wanting to go back to our youth, experiencing memories of places that are there no more, and the painful recollections of loved ones who are no longer with us. Most films are simply there just to entertain or scare the audience. Then there is this film. A film that is there to affect your feelings and to make you remember things you may have forgotten by the time the end credits roll. There are two different versions of the film: the original theatrical version and the extended edition. Watch the original first then the extended and make sure you bring a box of tissues for you will cry. 

5 out of 5

달콤한 인생 AKA A Bittersweet Life (2005) Review

   South Korean films have always had a soft spot in my heart. They know how to make films and sometimes they put Hollywood to shame. Like with this film, A Bittersweet Life. This film will make you open up your mind and make you question humanity itself.  A Bittersweet Life is a visual work of art which is something rare in gangster films. This film turned violence into a thing of beauty, that’s something rarely seen.  The tale to the film walks a complicated and tasteful tightrope connecting philosophy and aggression, expression and carelessness.

    Sun-Woo played by the multi-talented Byung-hun Lee (J.S.A, The Good the Bad and the Weird) is the anti-hero of the story. He is lonely, serious, calm, sophisticated, and an unpopular enforcer who has served his boss Kang, a brutal gangster, for seven years without a single complaint when he does Kang’s dirty work. Sun-Woo is seen as the most trusted of Kang’s men. Kang has a job for his most trusted man because he knows Sun-Woo has never been in love or even had a lover. Kang’s precise orders are to watch over his girlfriend while he’s away and to execute her if Sun-Woo discovers she is having an affair, the coming drama is quite obvious.  She indeed is having an affair and Sun-Woo makes a critical decision not to kill her which relied on his personal judgment in disagreement with his boss’s. When Kang finds out he feels like a father betrayed for the first time. Kang pursues the procedure of the underworld and makes a decision on punishing Sun-Woo who has been like a son to him. Before Kang goes through with the punishment, he asks Sun-Woo why he betrayed him, in which Sun-Woo responds “I thought if she promised never to cheat on you, everything would go back to normal, everything will be okay.” Kang pauses and asks if he had fallen for her. Sun-Woo goes quiet almost perplexed. As the punishment is about to happen he realizes that throughout his whole life of never finding love he falls for his boss’s girlfriend. He feels like his boss is insulting him. When the boss leaves, Sun-Woo breaks away from custom by declining his punishment and escapes by fighting lots of his boss’s men. Now the film turns into a quest of vengeance against his boss’s men and his boss.  In this bittersweet world full of sorrow and calamity there is space for comedic moments, particularly the scenes where Sun-Woo tries to buy guns from some unskilled gangsters. I won’t get more into the story for I might give it away.

   The action scenes were beautifully choreographed, in particular the escape fight scene and the climatic finale fight scene. Numerous of the scenes portraying brutality and fights are well positioned into the film to illustrate delicate emotional transformations of Sun-Woo and the unanticipated circumstances he stumbles upon. Nevertheless, director Kim Ji-woon explains them extremely precise as beautiful photographs at times can be very romantic, which is far from those gruesome gunfights we learn to expect from gangster films. Particularly the use of the lighting makes it very sensitive and creative. Ji-woon indeed has an astonishing artistic intellect; his direction is a spectacle to behold. He made the ending open to the viewer for their own personal interpretation which is quite enjoyable.

  A Bittersweet Life has been compared to Scorsese and Tarantino and it should, but it maintains itself firm in its own credibility. 9.1 out of 10

DRIVE (2011) Review

(Sorry I haven't written anything in a while)

  What happens when a film has chase sequences that Steve McQueen would be proud of, great performances, pumps the adrenaline, ultra-violent much like a 1980s neo noir, remarkably fresh, and is like Black Swan in overdrive? Well you get one of the major surprises in film of 2011, Drive. It overflowed with critical praise and became an immediate cult classic.  It absolutely deserved more than one Oscar nomination. The film is the finest of its sort. No one can truthfully judge it against any film because it is beyond a doubt that different. If the viewer is searching for a regular action film or searching for a striking love story, this is not the film for the viewer. Drive is definitely not for everybody. What begins as a calm film develops into authentic scenes of carnage accompanied by a fantastic score which goes perfectly with every scene. If the viewer can handle the bloodbath then they should see this film. Drive is in every way a different, surreal, unforgettable, fresh, fun, beautiful, revolting, mesmerizing, thrilling, and striking film due to its fantastic score and marvelous acting.

    Drive shows Ryan Gosling like the viewer has never seen him before as he delivers his best work to date. Gosling is absolutely astonishing, instantaneously iconic. He brings an unbelievable performance even though the character has no name and hardly talks throughout the entire film. He brings “the driver” character a depth that no other critic thought possible before seeing it. There is no back story to the driver just like Eastwood’s “Dollar Trilogy”, which makes the film better. He’s not the typical Rock or Vin Diesel mindless action hero. He is a classic action hero. Countless people did not comprehend this and instantly thought it was awful acting or directing. The audience learns just enough to be on his side, a decent but imperfect hero fighting for the innocent, a modern day Shane. Actually all of the actors in Drive are marvelous, most namely Albert Brooks for his disturbing portrayal of Bernie Rose, who is razor sharp, reckless, and unpredictable. Of course this is really Gosling’s film and he lives in the character completely.

    There’s something unquestionably retro about Drive from the radiantly splashed opening neon pink credits, accompanied by the eighties infused synthesizer-pop soundtrack which is so unforgettable that it stays in the ears for numerous days. Cliff Martinez’s perfect score fits flawlessly with each and every scene, in addition to Chromatics whose song “Tick of the Tock” gave more tension to the opening scene, there are also other various artists such as Kavinsky, Desire, and College. It adds a unique and to a great extent wanted stylistic, artificial, and overall lush style to a lush film. It’s filled with beautiful imagery of the LA underworld which Michael Mann would be proud of.  Drive is full of stylish passages, non-central structures of characters, amazing camera movements, and astounding chopper shots of neon lighted L.A. It’s quite obvious that director Refn is a guy who takes his style serious. Refn’s unique art-house flair and Hollywood-style action is that to be praised.

       Despite its absolute craftsmanship, there have been some negative comments from certain viewers on Drive, which are not credible at all. Like “It’s too boring because there is hardly any dialogue and the driver doesn’t talk”. First off, a silent role is more successful due to the detail of the performance. Gosling shows an ability to create tension using the slightest widening of his eyes and tensing of his jaw-line. This is the most focused performance in quite some time. Second the director expresses a story to the viewer by visuals and conveying emotion without heavy dialogue. It makes the film a great work of art. The viewers were most likely raised on Transformers and those terrible Fast and Furious films.

     Intelligent action filmmaking is so hard to come by these days, Drive delivers a refreshing variety. The music makes the film more unique, much like the acting and cinematography. It pins the headlights on the gloomy suggestions of unbridled fascination and good meaning gone haywire. Drive in its cursive fluorescent pink nature, positions out as the best film of 2011, pure cinematic excellence, and cinema gold.  Be smart and see this film.

9.8 out of 10