Monday, May 7, 2012

Ghost Rider DOUBLE REVIEW


 “ The thing about legends is... sometimes, they're true.”

   Ghost Rider is hilarious! The most I’ve laughed in ages, horrendously and uncontrollably funny, which is tremendously appalling seeing how it’s unplanned humor.  Ghost Rider has laughable yet appalling performances, horrifying plot, god-awful action sequences, terrible dialogue, and even more appalling performances.  If you enjoy films that are so appalling that they make you laugh, Ghost Rider shall surely deliver.
    Nicolas Cage has really never truly been a talented actor, there has only been one great film he was in and that was “Raising Arizona”. He was not fit for the Ghost Rider at all. He was so stiff it’s no surprise his head burst into flames. He acted as if he was a miserable guy on drugs throughout the film. I do believe Cage was and still is tormented by the curse of the Oscar through appearing only in terrible films continuously. Now to the co-stars! Eva Mendes cannot act and neither can her breasts. She wasn’t even pleasing on the eyes for the reason that she looked as if she required a bath all the way through the film. You can’t feel the love connection between her and Cage. The villains were feeble and both badly cast. Peter Fonda was not frightening; he does not present a real fight or even a dilemma.  Fonda’s “nice bike” line fell flat with the audience for Ghost Rider seeing how almost certainly none of them have ever seen his cult classic “Easy Rider”. Wes Bentley has the looks of Satan’s son, but not the ability to act. He was a very weak actor for the role.
  Then there is the story… there isn’t one. We get some useless excuse of a story. Trust me even “Batman and Robin” had a much better story and screenplay.  This film does nothing for the audience.
   The ending makes you flinch and want to lash out at the screen. In the end, the Ghost Rider killed Satan’s son by giving him many souls and then stares at him deep in the eyes, BOOM HE’S DEAD and that was the end to the Ghost Rider films; oh no wait there is a sequel!!
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
   This sequel makes the first Ghost Rider film look like “Titanic”. Completely everything about this film was dreadful. Awful from all perspectives; story was unintelligible, the characters were terrible, the action was blurred and confusing, the special effects caused many viewers to get headaches, the costumes and props were below par, the cinematography was rubbish, and everything else I didn’t mention was disappointingly made.
  They changed the personality of the Ghost Rider. Instead of the chill and strong-minded character, they made him more mentally ill than the Joker! He was psychotic, aggressively brutal, and looked like he was pumped up on drugs throughout this terrible sequel. Peter Fonda didn’t come back; as an alternative we get some plump older guy representing the devil. Why not just get rid of Cage all together and let Christopher Nolan reboot Ghost Rider like he did for Batman?
    Halfway through the film I got up and asked for my money back, which hardly ever happens. Then I decided to see “The Secret World of Arrietty” again.
    Watching many hours of Cage’s facial tics does not make a movie franchise. The Ghost Rider films make it right up there with other terrible Marvel superhero films such as the Fantastic Four films, Daredevil, The Punisher, and the Hulk. This film won’t change your life at all, but you’ll walk out the cinema smiling knowing that you were cheated out of your money.
Ghost Rider- 0 out of 5
Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance- 0 out of 5







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