The Happening (2008) Review

     From director M Night Shyamalan; the man who has brought you one great film with ‘The Sixth Sense’, then two good films with ‘Unbreakable’ and ‘Signs’, followed by two eh films with ‘The Village’ and ‘Lady in the Water’, and then he brought you one of the worst films of all time with ‘The Happening’ until his next two films that were the live action adaptation of ‘The Last Airbender’ and the Will Smith dud ‘After Earth’. At least he sort of redeemed himself with ‘Split’ and ‘Glass’, right? I bet Newsweek is regretting calling him the next Spielberg. Even Spielberg isn’t the next Spielberg, which is sad because a lot of his films now are extremely boring.

   I remember being excited to see this film because the trailers made it actually look good. It was Friday night so it was somewhat crowded. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard on a film that was supposed to be a serious horror film. It was laughable from the acting to the dialogue. Nothing made sense and I walked out upset I spent eight dollars to see such garbage.

   First let us focus on the performances. Every single performance in this film are hollow. Marky Mark plays a high school teacher that delivers perplexed stares at everyone that talks to him. It’s as if he was constipated throughout filming. Every time he talks it seems like he’s asking a question. The way he delivers his lines you’d think the film was actually a comedy. Zooey Deschanel just stares into the camera as if she’s a mannequin. Hell, the plant that Wahlberg talks to is plastic and it still gives a better performance than everyone in the film.

   Second there’s the dialogue. When I say that the dialogue is bad I mean it’s really truly bad. We are talking lines such as the romantic quote “if I have to die I want to die with you”, to the comforting line “I don’t like to show my emotions either”, and lastly one of the creepiest lines ever said with a straight face “We're packing hot dogs for the road. You know hot dogs get a bad rap? They got a cool shape, they got protein. You like hot dogs right? By the way, I think I know what's causing this.” The dialogue is so out there, simplistic, and I really wondered if anyone ever talks like that in real life.

    The acting is terrible and the dialogue even worse. I haven’t talked about the plot twist because there isn’t one. There isn’t even a plot. Plants are killing people by making them commit suicide. I’ll give it to Shyamalan, he’s made the funniest film about mass death you will ever see. Just skip this.

0 out of 5