Spider-Man 3 (2007) Review

(Spoilers)

“I like being bad. It makes me happy.”

   After Spider-Man 2 people were excited to see what was next for Peter. The main question would be who he’d come up against this time. For the longest time it was speculated that it would be the lizard and man-wolf, which would lead up to the birth of the new green goblin that would be continued in Spider-Man 4. I too was excited for Spider-Man 3. When the teaser trailer first appeared on Yahoo and I became even more excited. Then it happened… I saw the movie. I walked out feeling robbed. The first film was really good and Spider-Man 2 was perfect in every way, but this film was complete and utter over-stuffed crap. The film has left a bad taste in my mouth ever since… much like “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” or any of the “Fantastic Four” films. 

   There are not many good things about this film and if there are it’s overshadowed by the bad…. and there is a lot of bad! There are ten things that made the film terrible that I’m going to focus on in this review: 1) Green Goblin storyline 2) The Mary Jane Dilemma 3) The Arrival of the symbiote 4) Emo Peter 5) The Sandman 6) The new Uncle Ben death scene 7) That’s Gwen Stacy? 8) That’s not Venom is it? 9) That many villains doesn’t make for a good film 10) Sony.

    The first two films are building up to Harry Osborn becoming the new green goblin. Taking over his father’s legacy, but instead we get “You killed my daddy prepare to die!” He didn’t plot his revenge well since he went down almost immediately. I was expecting much more of a fight to be honest. He survives the fight, but gets AMNESIA… oh how convenient to the storyline. Harry forgot everything till well he doesn’t. He tries to drive Peter and MJ apart then fights Peter again. Harry goes down easy once again and this time getting a grenade to the face. The butler decides to tell Harry after all this time that Norman died by his own hand. Something he could have told Harry before his face became disfigured. The butler could have resolved this issue at the end of the first Spider-Man film. So Harry becomes good again and decides to help Peter fight the bad guys because well the plot calls for it I guess. Cheesy right? It only gets worse from here.

   Then there’s the Mary Jane dilemma. MJ doesn’t have the best track record with her men. Her and Flash broke up and then started going out with Harry. She starts crushing on Peter hard while she’s still dating Harry. In the second film she’s engaged to a nice guy, but once again she’s longing for Peter. Breaks off the engagement on her wedding day to be with, you guessed it, Peter. Now she’s finally with Peter and she isn’t all that happy. MJ kisses Harry while still with Peter. Then she breaks up with Peter because she’s afraid Harry might kill Peter. Does she not remember the stronger and better villains Peter had fought in the previous films? Guess not. He saves her life and they’re back together again. The romance is “Attack of the Clones” bad. Also, she’s constantly angry with Peter. For example, MJ is cast in the main role of a Broadway musical. She’s fired after her first performance because the directors realized she couldn’t sing. You’d think after many rehearsals they would have known. She keeps this a secret from Peter and then gets furious with him when he doesn’t know she’s been let go. There are very poor communication skills between the two.

  The arrival of the symbiote always bugged the hell out of me. Peter should have heard the little meteorite crash with the symbiote in it. His spider-sense should have gone off the roof. Since well it did come from space at a moderately fast speed plus it’s dangerous. I would have thought the spider sense would have gone off, but I guess it’s all part of the “story”.

   The symbiote creates something Spider-Man 3 will always be remembered for and that’s emo Peter. Oh how I pray to the movie gods every night to help erase this from film history. The symbiote should have shown us the ruthless side of Peter. He’d become cruel, cold, and a detached version of himself; while at the same time becoming more obsessed with his newfound power that the symbiote gave him. That in itself should have been a standalone movie where he kills Harry with his symbiote powers, but instead we get emo Peter. It started off good with his “killing” of the Sandman. So the audience should start to be concerned for him… not laughing at his dancing and walking down the street. Peter did not become cool from it even though he thought he was. He simply looked like an emo that liked to dance and do a hair flip.

  Now onto the next villain of this lovely Spider-Man flick. Flint Marko is the Sandman. A man who’s trying to take care of his sick daughter, but somehow decides to team up with Venom for some reason. Even though he commits crimes we are supposed to side with sandman all because his daughter is sick. The viewer usually doesn’t side with him. How Flint becomes the Sandman is actually pretty funny. He’s running away from the cops, falls into a hole that is being used to run a test on sand, by scientists and their supermodel assistants, they think he’s a bird, and run the test anyways instead of checking it out. What comes next is probably my favorite scene. When he emerges from the sand he tries to grab a locket with a picture of his daughter (how the locket stayed in one piece beats me). It’s the only emotional scene in the film. The part that kills me about Sandman is that he flies above buildings in New York I had no idea sandman can fly.  Well I guess it is true what Anakin said that sand is coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

   We’ve seen Uncle Ben get killed a lot in Spider-Man, but this version just is plain terrible. The death of Uncle Ben was already done perfectly in the first film. The murderer from the first film had an accomplice, Flint, who was the one that pulled the trigger by accident. I remember vividly people in the cinema yelling out, “come on!” or “that’s bullshit Raimi!” I have to agree though. The entire reason Peter is Spider-man is because he did not stop the thief who shot his uncle. So Peter isn’t fully responsible now for his uncle’s death. Definitely felt like a cheap blow.

  Gwen Stacy was Peter’s first love in the comics way before MJ. Gwen loved Peter, but not Spider-Man. MJ loves Spider-Man more than Peter. Gwen’s death in the comics helped the character development of MJ. Gwen was simply in the film to make MJ jealous. I found it an injustice to the character.

  Venom is also a well-known character also in the Spider-Man comic series and that’s why he was forced in the film. Okay so the film has Sandman, Green Goblin, and Venom. Eddie Brock sells fake Spider-Man photographs to the Daily Bugle and get’s busted by Peter. He’s fired for fraud. Eddie wants Peter dead and right when he’s wishing it he’s infected with the symbiote. Venom was definitely rushed since Eddie didn’t become Venom till the last thirty minutes of the film. Venom is supposed to be well built and has a long tongue that goes all over the place. What we get instead is a frail individual. Venom has a disturbing looking face, but it pulled back the entire time to show Eddie’s face. Venom isn’t supposed to be weak, but in this film he’s as weak as a butterfly with no wings.

   Too many villains congested the film way too much. Way too over-stuffed. There could have been a good tragic villain story with Sandman who only wanted to help his sick daughter. Raimi could have simply just made a film with symbiote Spider-Man and Harry’s Green Goblin. Instead we get this mess with all these villains with no character development at all. Raimi takes the blame for this mess, but it’s not all his fault, which brings me to the next complaint.

  Sony kept interfering with Spider-Man 3. Raimi wanted to do a Sandman and Green Goblin film. Sony was demanding on Venom being in the film. The reason for this is because the studio wanted more money because Venom had an enormous fan base. He was considered the best Spider-Man villain at the time. So Sony, Avi Arad to be specific, forced Venom into Spider-Man 3 for more money. Raimi didn’t like Venom and that’s why he made Venom’s screen time extremely short. So Raimi had to add the black suit Spider-Man and Venom. So that’s why the film felt hurried and unsatisfying because Sony’s meddling took time away from the rest of the film.

   Overall, Spider-Man 3 is just a bad film altogether from the acting, the writing, the meddling by Sony, the overcrowded villains, the soap opera drama, and the emo Peter. It definitely a major step down from its predecessor.

2.3 out of 5