“It is a restless moment. She has kept her head lowered, to give him a chance to come closer. But he could not, for lack of courage. She turns and walks away.”
Wong Kar-Wai’s ‘In the Mood for Love’ is the story of two married couples that rent rooms adjacent from each other in 1960s Hong Kong. The film focuses on Mr. Chow and Mrs. Chan who discover their spouses are cheating on them with each other. The two come together to deal with the pain of their significant others cheating on them.
This film affected me emotionally, but differently than it does with Korean films. It was because it displayed one of my greatest fears in life: settling. No, not settling down. Simply just settling. I’ve seen so many people do it. They settled into marriages, which caused great unhappiness. Sometimes they’re cheated on, abused, or they just become depressed because what if they missed their chance for true happiness because they just settled. That is hands down my greatest fear. Wong Kar-Wai knows how to hit you with the emotions. What if I find real love after settling with someone that I’m simply uninterested in? This is what happens to these characters. Mrs. Chan is being cheated on, yet she stays with her husband. The marriage was doomed.
“Most of my films deal with people who are stuck in certain routines and habits that don’t make them happy. They want to change, but they need something to push them. I think it’s mostly love that causes them to break their routines and move on.”
-Wong Kar-Wai
Mr. Chow and Mrs. Chan move into an apartment. They exchange neighborly pleasantries. They both share one thing in common and that is both their spouses are away. Mr. Chan is off away on “business” and Mrs. Chow is always “working late hours”, which leaves our main characters alone emotionally. They both go disregarded by others. Going on with their daily lives from work to home. Getting stuck in the same ole routine that hardly ever changes. They pass by one another going up and down the stairs. Passing one another glances. Both are apart, but similarly share in domestic isolation. Routine is what they share, but what really starts their relationship is the unearthing of their spouse’s affairs. They start to connect over their shared secret. Like trying to figure out how the affairs started. Investigating the concealed romance on their own. They start connecting with more than just that, but on their resentment with their life’s deflation. Going up and down the stairs that were at first a symbol of their repetition is now a symbol of a transition that is occurring. A new secret that they begin to share.
One another say they won’t stoop low and become like their spouses, but there is something occurring between them. It may not be physically, but it’s on an emotional level. Yet, due to their restraint they are uncapable to tell one another how they feel. I feel like this is why the film relies heavily on images instead of a whole lot of dialogue. It makes the unspoken tension rise between our two characters. Showing us their longing for one another captured through their moments and glances at one another, which makes the viewer wonder if they ultimately gave into their temptation. Their intimacy between one another still remain as we are shown that many years later they still hold onto their brief relationship. The memory of a moment will always be better than what it was. Their love will always remain in them through time since it was made flawless by time. Unlike their marriages, they didn’t let it go on long enough to be ruined.
There’s a few things that Wong Kar-Wai taught me about love from this film. Requited love is unattainable. You will probably fall in love once. Obstacles will naturally occur. Then the rest of your life you’re recovering from it. You will give erotic meanings to their possessions and sadly it will be the highpoint of your sexual fulfillment. If anything is able to distract you from the pain of your loss then that is a good thing. Some are better than others pertaining to this. You could hook up with someone. Live with them. Fuck them. Yet you should never be tricked. You are only a passing memory to them. Ask for a commitment. Proclaim your love for someone. Watch everything disappear before your eyes. Desire is only kept alive forever by the impossibility of contact.
The ending is one of the more powerful film endings and it’s only about four minutes. Mr. Chow earlier in the film said, “In the old days, if someone had a secret they didn’t want to share, you know what they did? They went up a mountain, found a tree, carved a hole in it, and whispered the secret into the hole. Then they covered it with mud. And leave the secret there forever.” In this beautiful and superb final scene, he whispers the secret into a hole in some temple ruins while melancholy music begins to play, and soon after that we see wide shots of the fading temple halls. Finally at the very end of the film he’s able to speak of everything he’s ever felt. The passion of his love will endure as a physical manifestation in the temple ruins well beyond his own life. It's an eternal secret. Meeting her has haunted him for years after, wondering if she loved him as he had loved her, and the caption at the end of the film reads: “He remembers those vanished years. As though looking through a dusty window pane, the past is something he could see, but not touch. And everything he sees is blurred and indistinct.”
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